Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Babalicious: A story for a good cause


How innocently began the day as the red claws of dawn rose over Babalarella. A constant pale moonlight on this dark and chilly side of the planet helped Johnny Orchid navigate his walk towards the feasting grounds,  just beyond the red glow of the Terrahotta Hills --  and near the human quarter. 
A short graphic play
based on an illustration by Jeff Zugale.
Wil Wheaton as Willy Whacker (Prince of the Velvet Loins)
John Scalzi as Johnny Orchid (an Orc)
Starrek the unikitty as itself
Featuring the evil clown (Babalord) uniform on Willy
Setting: Planet Babalarella
Fiction project to benefit the Lupus Alliance of America
© 2010 David Owens
 Johnny felt the warmth of molten rock beneath the slagstones take the chill out of the air as he approached the stone ovens. His mouth watered and teeth chattered as he anticipated this favorite sustenance - the fermented mass of recent  kills and flesh of the undetermined kind. 
Other Orcs would join him at the morning feast. He looked forward to a good  flesh gnashing among friends, even  within sight of the human quarter.

An uneasy peace with the humans had been tolerated since Johnny was just a fingerling and he wasn't sure how he felt towards them. 
Hardly five moonshadows past, one of the bolder of their kind, Prince Willy Whacker of the Velvet Loins, had approached them on Starrek, his unikitty. That was fine, but the unikitty was hardly trained and it bounded into the middle of the fingerlings amidst the frenzy of their morning gnash. That would have been forgiven, but the unruly unikitty managed to devour most of the freshly refermented mass for itself. The fingerlings scattering in fear that they would be next.
Willy looked shocked and what happened but perhaps not too upset. 

Johnny thought he heard a strange laughter from Willy as he bounded away on Starrek.  Or was it the odd satisfied belching of the unikitty? Johnny was not sure. The fingerlings were hungry and expressed pointed slanders of youth towards the humans without restraint.
On this morning the fingerlings were already at their feast and enjoying a new chant:
    "Willy Willy Whacker, feed him a cracker.
     One whack, two whacks, what a slacker.
     Silly silly Willy, throw him in a pot.
     Taste his bones and love him not!"
And as it would happen, a human in full dress uniform arrived on a unikitty to hear the fingerling taunt.
Price Will of the Velvet Loins! Wearing the insignia of the royal order of Babalord! There was no mistaking of the fiery orange crown over poisonous blue eye slots over the exploding purple banana! 
The fingerlings scattered and the unikitty eyed the feast.
"Not this time, you furry scavenger," called out Johnny, "be gone or be lunch!" 
He raised his axe to repel the intrusion.
"I'll say what to do," replied Willy, "and I go where I please!" And he raised his staff, a ceremonial spear he had as yet to use, in an awkward manner.
 All this spooked the unikitty who leapt ferociously - not aimed at Johnny -  but at the feast just beyond. Starrek knocked over Johnny and Willy tumbled to the ground and had the wind knocked out of him leaving him impotent to do more than wince.

 "Well, that's fine how d'ya do! laughed Johnny when he realized the folly before him. He joked, "Looks like we might enjoy some loin steak after all, the velvet kind!" The Babalord uniform looked almost comical and childlike upside down.

 "Not if I can help it!" chortled Willy.

 The unikitty helped itself to a big mouthful of fermented flesh.

 "You beast, prepare to be eaten!" yelled Johnny.

 "Not so fast, help me restrain Starreck and I'll find you something else to eat in the human quarter" said Willy.

 "Only if you remove that Babalord uniform, it's ruining my appetite!" said Willy. "Did you say we are having human quarters?"

 And thus continued the uneasy peace on the slagstones of Babalarella.


Editor's note:
Actor Wil Wheaton (Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation and many other roles) and author John Scalzi ( Old Man's War and The Rough Guide to the Universe 2 )
lent their names to this project to benefit a good cause.Lupus Alliance of America. Fresnans may remember Scalzi as the Movie Critic at The Fresno Bee.

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